Seeing as this is the second blog I've created tonight, which pole is my ass swinging from?
I'm Jim. Musician, Educator, Concierge. Those are jobs.
However, after my 3rd complete life breakdown (not kidding), my ass spent time in Sheppard Pratt getting to know someone I completely hated...
Me
The first doctor suggested I was manic! Really? me? The guy who's talking way too fast and lost 60 lbs in 3 months.
couldn't be
The second doctor in outpatient therapy (I'd been off the Adderall for a few weeks now. slightly more patient) explained that Cycles of Mania and Depression can last weeks, months or years.
holy shit
At age 29, my life finally made sense.
FYI: I cuss when I think. Fucking TV
Literally all my emotional ups and downs fit neatly into several cycles.
And here they are:
1. Birth-3rd grade: not manic, but happy, innocent, fun kid
2. 4th-10th grade: Depressed.
3. 10th-Sophomore year of College: Manic
4. Bible College-1st year teaching: Depressed
5. 2004-2006: Manic
6. 2006-2008: Depressed
7. Dad dies, Marriage breaks up, car accident in same week: 2 months of sheer ID mania fuck the world, I'm taking no prisoners, MANIC
8. Quit Teaching: Depressed
9. New Special Ed job: MANIC
10: That Christmas, flat broke: Depressed
11. This summer, great job, good life, lots of possibilities.....MANIC!
And here we are.
32 years of life in 11 cycles. Granted, that is the cliff notes version of my life. It's a funny story, but I hate typing and reading fluff
I learned how to surf in San Diego and continued in Hawaii.
Bipolarity is so much like surfing it's scary.
Mania is like a 20 foot wave baring down hard on you. Paddle your ass off, and ride it out, take a breath and duck under, or get dragged down into the wash.
Depression is sitting on your board, alone, dreaming about that last wave.
