Requiem for a beverage.

I'm into my second week of a partial hospitalization program to help me deal with my illness. Yes, I called it an illness.

Maybe I've been listening to the staff too long, but I really want some normalcy back in my life. This last manic wave was too much. To use my surfing analogy again, I want a glassy sea with some.even sets of waves. Granted I don't want to be normal.

Normal is boring.

So during treatment, no booze. Zero. Zilch. Turns out alcohol and bipolarity make for a frothy mix of blech. Now if you know Jim, Jim hearts beer. I blame my friend Andy, but I love the variety, the flavors, the people who also love beer, everything about it.

And now I need to give it up for my own sanity.

Sad Jim. But being stuck in the dungeon of depression  with a few burning man bouts of mania is not life. It's a bad dream  
So goodbye my frothy friend. I'll miss thee.

Raising a glass of peach tea crystal light to a different, but hopefully better life.

A touch of the Divine

So there has been some further adjustments in my meds, which has been extremely helpful. Today I was very close to visiting a place that had proved quite harmful for me, but my mom's advice a few weeks ago echoed in my big ole head. "Just read even a Scripture or two a day, so you won't feel alone.
 
So I did.
 
Did my standard reading for the first time in a long time: 14th day of the month= psalm 14 and proverbs 14.
 
It was ok.
 
But when I skipped back to Psalm 13, it grabbed me by the throat:


1 Long enough, God-you've ignored me long enough. I've looked at the back of your head2 Long enough I've carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain. Long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me.


3 Take a good look at me, God, my God; I want to look life in the eye,4 So no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face.


5 I've thrown myself headlong into your arms-I'm celebrating your rescue.6 I'm singing at the top of my lungs, I'm so full of answered prayers.


Copyright, The Message


I'm not quoting to be preachy. I hate preachy. But it's short, so deal with it.
David was sick of God ignoring him, in his view "Look me in the Face!" Which, sidebar, would equal death. just saying.
He falls on his face, then can celebrate his rescue. He is screaming praise, and has lots of prayers answered.
A few months back I tried going it alone and my life went to Hell in a handbasket. I got really selfish and thought being so would get me what I wanted.
Didn't think that one through too well.
I'm still pretty proud right now, so we'll see how long it gets me to get on my face. Hopefully sooner than later.
 
For now, I'm making better choices. And I'll take that.